Today, I opened the Bible to Matthew 20 and read the Parable of the Vineyard Workers. Here’s the synopsis. A landowner hires a group of workers in the morning, a second group three hours later, and a third group two hours after that. At the end of the day, he pays the last group first, then the second group and finally the early birds. Every group is paid the same amount. The early birds cry foul, even though they were paid the wage they were promised.

What’s the lesson here? “The last will be first, and the first will be last.” Just in case these words were a little too cryptic, Jesus spelled it out for religious leaders in chapter 21, “the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering into the kingdom of God ahead of you.”

On the surface level I get it. God’s reach extends beyond the inner circle of “good Jews.” Gentiles and backslidden Jews are offered a place at God’s table, as well. When I allow myself to mull over the story, however, I have to admit I’m a lot like the early birds who cry foul. I mean if the landowner wanted to be generous, fine. But couldn’t he have paid the late group last, after the early birds were paid and merrily on their way home? Why did he have to rub it in the faces of those who worked all day?

So here’s my confession. I have a hard time (okay, I have to fend off gale force storms of jealousy) with late bloomers – the ones who lived wild, self-indulgent lives. They retired at fifty, did a little life assessment and decided to follow Christ in the second half of their lives. Now they’re best selling authors, nationally known speakers and respected authorities on spiritual matters. As one who has known Christ since age 16, I often feel like the early birds. “It’s not fair!” Yes, I know my response is wrong. Yes, I know I should celebrate when lost sheep return home. Perhaps, that’s why my gut response disturbs me so much.

I think I know what the problem is. I’m not upset that God saved and uses the late bloomers. In fact, I really do rejoice with them. I’m upset that I didn’t get to sin as much. My issue is that I didn’t get to be greedy, selfish and materialistic (at least not guilt-free) and still considered “spiritually mature.” And that’s the ugly truth. That’s why “the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering into the kingdom of God ahead of you.” They understood sin for what it was – evil. So I am the one who needs cleansing. Perhaps, it’s fair after all.

~Joyce

Our desire for approval can cripple us. If you care about people, you want to meet their needs. But life is busy. Sacrificial service disintegrates into good intentions. Out of sheer survival, you become calloused to the needs of others. You’re ashamed of your indifference but overwhelmed by the level of adversity around you. When you finally roll up your sleeves, you feel you can’t do enough. Frustrated, you wonder, “Will I ever make a difference?”

During an interview on the television program 20/20, host John Stossel grilled Texas billionaire Dan Duncan, regarding charitable contributions.

Stossel: “You’ve given a lot to charity, but really you gave only 2% of your net worth. That sounds cheap.”

Duncan: “If that was all that I ever wanted to give away, I would agree 100%, [but] if you’re one of the gifted people that can actually make more money, people receiving it are better off if you keep it to get a lot more later on.”

Duncan perceives his ability to make money as a gift that ultimately benefits others. His corporation, Enterprise Products, does generate a huge amount of wealth for Duncan to give away. Whether cancer research (Duncan’s charity) profits more from a lump sum or a steady stream of cash is a subject for debate, but Duncan clearly believes he is a greater asset to the world when he operates from his strengths.

Undoubtedly, we have the most impact when we embrace God’s design for our lives. But the short term thinkers always seem to have better plans for our time. They belittle our progress because they don’t understand our goals. How do you stay on course without ignoring the needs of others?

I just finished reading Lifesigns, by Henri Nouwen. Though written in the 1980’s, I found his message timely for 2008. He says we are driven by fear or love. The two cannot coexist. “Fearful questions never lead to love-filled answers,” Nouwen claims.

I often think of love as the opposing force to hatred or apathy, but seldom have I considered love the alternative to fear. Yet how often does sheer survival hinder my relationships? It seems innocent enough. “If I call her, she might need something and I really don’t have time right now.”

“You volunteer once or twice, and then it never ends.”

“If I praise him for pulling up his grades, he’ll think B’s are good enough.”

Fear – of a runaway schedule, unyielding demands, or underachievement – stops love in its tracks. Though I want to extend my arms, fear suppresses my desire.

I’m thankful the God of love is stronger than my fears. By his grace, he nudges me along, to choose compassion over isolation, generosity over selfishness, encouragement over criticism . . . love over fear. What fearful questions are you asking today? How is God challenging you to ask different questions?

~Joyce

I plopped down at my desk. Staring back at me was the Bible I hadn’t cracked in several days. Next to it was yesterday’s “to do” list with less than half the tasks crossed off. Lingering in the background was a darkened computer screen loaded with fresh emails which, with the faintest touch of the mouse, would steal the spotlight from the gold-edged pages waiting for today’s verdict. What a poignant picture of my life right now, I thought.

“Read your Bible first,” the Spirit inside me whispered.

“But I have so much to do,” my flesh argued back. The knot in my stomach twisted and tightened as I pondered this week’s demands. “If I can just get through my list, then I’ll have time to focus on my Bible reading and give God the attention he deserves,” I reasoned, knowing full well how that strategy had panned out yesterday.

The gentle whisper answered back, “In whom are you depending?”

Guilty. My reluctance to open God’s Word betrayed my distorted view of God and myself, for that matter. Today, I saw no power in Scripture, just a duty to read it. Through the years, I’ve learned to follow that sense of duty when it’s all I can muster.

I opened to 2 Samuel. “Drat, I lost the flow by skipping several days,” the excuses started to flow. “Was Abishai a priest or Joab’s brother? Now I have to look up all the names again.” In time, the frustration dissipated and God began to speak to me through his Word. In today’s passage, revenge’s stench was strong, but mercy’s beauty proved more powerful. My heart and mind were transported from the broken freezer and the Open House guest list to the company of my Creator, who knows my daily anxieties but wants to offer me more than a rescue. He wants to elevate my heart, soul and mind to a place where my daily worries are small when compared to the greatness of the Father who loves me.

Do you often feel confused about what God wants? Do you even resist what you think might be his expectations? Are you conflicted, wanting to follow God yet not sure you’ll be happy where he leads? Sometimes this lack of clarity is the result of a distorted or inadequate view of God. You may have been taught or just assumed that God wants certain things. How can you know for certain what God requires?

There is no shortcut to knowing God’s will; it takes time. In one sense, God is like any other person; the more time you spend with him, the more you understand him. Some people spend virtually no time at all getting to know God. They may even ignore what little they know of God’s law. Yet when they face major life decisions, they toss up quick prayers, asking and expecting God to lead and protect them. This strategy will not work consistently. A better strategy is to pursue an ongoing relationship with God, reading and studying the Bible, asking God for wisdom and courage, and doing your best to walk in his ways. When the time comes for a major life decision, you’ll be far more likely to make a wise one. You’ll instinctively know what God expects because you will know God.

God wants you to know him as your Creator. He made you for a purpose and longs for you to discover that purpose. He knows that life will be truly satisfying for you when you live out that purpose. He has given you personality, talents, and abilities. He does not desire that these gifts be wasted. Instead, he wants you to use them for their maximum capacity for good. When you do this, God receives glory.

God wants you to know him as your Savior. Many people use their God-given gifts for selfish or destructive ends. In fact, if we’re honest, we all would admit that we have this tendency. Yet God desires to save us from this tendency and to empower us to use our gifts for good.

How can you “use your gifts for good” this week?

~John

Other people’s priorities can cloud my judgment, thwarting my ability to make decisions. If I stay at home with my son, but can’t afford piano lessons or little league, I’m denying him opportunities. If I focus on maintaining my home, I lack the time to volunteer at school. If volunteer activities consume my day, I’m folding laundry instead of helping my daughter with homework. If I go back to work, I’m shirking my parental duties. And so the circle of guilt continues. No matter what I choose, shame lurks over me like a dark cloud refusing to rain.

I’m shackled by the weight of everyone’s disappointment in me. To make matters worse, most people have reasonable expectations and are understandably perplexed at my inability to deliver. Yet once amassed, these expectations, no longer reasonable, conspire to bury me.

The shame is unbearable. So I scatter snippets of myself; just enough to lower raised eyebrows and mollify my wounds. In the process, I lose sight of the person God called me to be. I’m like a puppy who bounces from person to person, with no direction or purpose other than to lap up a morsel of food or find the softie who’s sure to rub my tummy.

The Bible tells us we were created with purpose. For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. (Eph 2:10, NIV) If we know God created us with purpose, why does it wound so deeply when others tell us we’ve failed to meet their expectations? Shouldn’t it be enough to know God’s purpose and act accordingly?

Apparently, most of us don’t have the bulldog focus and determination of Winston Churchill. Take a stroll through your local Christian bookstore and you’ll see rows of books on managing time, determining priorities and setting boundaries. These resources help individuals learn to say no, a skill critical to stress reduction.

But then, there are those who don’t struggle at all with turning you down flat. And when you’ve had to compensate for people who refuse to help, you empathize with those who are drowning – you want to spare them the frustration you’ve felt. Your sympathetic side struggles to say no. Being counted among the “do nothings” who suck the life from every organization is more than you can stomach.

How do you care about others without becoming a rescuer? How do you discover a sense of purpose when so many needs compete for your energy? Those who are both compassionate and focused have learned to coexist with a nagging reality. They know they must identify the yes’s in their lives before they can allow themselves to say no.